MODULE 3 | ASK & DISCOVER
Stage 2 | Conversation Qualification
Discover. Don't convince.
FOUNDER VIDEO 3 | ASK & DISCOVER
PURPOSE OF THIS MODULE
Good discovery is not about collecting answers to a list of questions.
It is about helping people think.
The right question can help someone recognize something they had not considered, describe what matters to them or identify something they want to understand better.
Your job is not to diagnose the family.
Your job is to create a conversation where they can discover and describe what matters to them.
THE STRONGEST DISCOVERY QUESTIONS INVITE PEOPLE TO THINK.
ASK PERMISSION
Before moving into discovery, give the person a choice.
Something as simple as:
“Would it be okay if I asked you a couple of questions?”
Then stop.
Let them answer.
Once they say yes, move into the conversation.
PERMISSION REDUCES RESISTANCE BEFORE DISCOVERY BEGINS.
Do not turn the permission question into the discovery question.
You do not need to say:
“Would it be okay if I asked you a couple of questions about what you already have in place?”
Just ask permission.
Then move forward.
HELP PEOPLE RECOGNIZE WHERE THEY ARE
Sometimes the best discovery does not begin by asking someone to describe their current estate plan.
Give them an opportunity to self-identify.
For example, in a group setting you might explain that people commonly find themselves in one of three situations:
NOTHING IN PLACE
A WILL ONLY
ALREADY HAVE A TRUST
Ask for a show of hands after each situation so people can identify where they are without being individually questioned about their planning.
SELF-IDENTIFICATION CAN TELL YOU MORE THAN INTERROGATION.
This is especially useful in workshops because the audience participates rather than being individually questioned about their planning.
ASK QUESTIONS THAT OPEN THINKING
Once the conversation is underway, questions should help the family think about the people they love, what they want to happen and how confident they are that things would work the way they intend.
Examples include:
FAMILY
“Who are the people you most want to protect if something happened to you?”
CONFIDENCE
“How confident are you that everything would work the way you intend today?”
INCAPACITY
“If you could not speak for yourself tomorrow, who would step in?”
ORGANIZATION
“Would the right person know where to find everything?”
IMPLEMENTATION
If someone has identified that they have a trust:
“How confident are you that the important assets have been addressed correctly?”
COMMUNICATION
“Who in your family knows what to do first?”
PRIORITY
“What concerns you most about all of this?”
OUTCOME
“If we could make one part of this clearer for you, what would matter most?”
USE “WHAT IF…” AND “IMAGINE THIS…”
Not every discovery question has to sound like an interview question.
Sometimes you can help someone mentally experience what would happen if their plan had to work.
“WHAT IF…”
“IMAGINE THIS…”
For example:
“Imagine this. Tomorrow morning something happens and you can't handle your own financial affairs. Who can legally step in?”
The purpose is not to frighten someone.
It is to move an abstract estate-planning concept into a situation they can actually picture.
HELP THEM THINK ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. DON'T TELL THEM WHAT TO FEEL ABOUT IT.
ASK ONE QUESTION
One good question is usually better than three questions stacked together.
Ask it.
Listen.
Let the person answer.
Then decide what comes next.
Do not mentally race down a checklist while the family is talking.
ASK → LISTEN → FOLLOW THEIR ANSWER
THE SECOND QUESTION RULE™
The first answer may not be the whole answer.
Someone might say:
“I just want to make sure everything is taken care of.”
You could immediately explain what Claim My Legacy does.
Or you could become curious.
“When you say ‘taken care of,’ what would that look like for you?”
Now they are describing what matters instead of listening to you describe what you sell.
DON'T ASSUME YOU UNDERSTAND. CLARIFY.
QUESTIONS TO AVOID
Do not use questions to manipulate someone toward the answer you want.
Avoid:
- Leading questions designed to force agreement.
- Questions that assume the family made a mistake.
- Fear questions designed to create anxiety.
- Rapid-fire questions that make discovery feel like interrogation.
QUESTION-ONLY PRACTICE
Practice a three-minute conversation where your job is not to explain a solution.
You may:
Ask.
Reflect.
Clarify.
But you may not explain what the family should do.
Then switch roles.
During the practice, notice:
Did you ask open questions?
Did you ask one question at a time?
Did you allow silence?
Did you listen rather than prepare your explanation?
Did your next question come from what the person actually said?
DISCOVERY IS NOT A CHECKLIST
You do not need to ask every question on this page.
You do not need to ask them in this order.
And you do not need to force a question into a conversation simply because you learned it in the Academy.
The family in front of you determines where the conversation goes.
LEARN GOOD QUESTIONS. LISTEN FOR THE NEXT ONE.
PREPARE TO PRACTICE
Complete the Module 3 Question-Only Drill in your ACA-120 Conversation Curriculum materials.
Practice helping another person think without rushing to teach, recommend or solve.
YOU SHOULD BE PREPARING TO:
- Ask permission before moving into discovery.
- Help people self-identify rather than interrogating them about their planning.
- Ask open questions that invite thought.
- Use “What if…” and “Imagine this…” appropriately.
- Ask one question at a time.
- Clarify rather than assume.
- Allow silence.
- Follow the family's answer instead of a checklist.
- Avoid leading, fear-based and manipulative questions.
READY TO CONTINUE?
When you can ask questions that help a family think and talk without making discovery feel like an interrogation, continue to Module 4.
When prompted, use the same Stage 2 password you used to access this module.