Someone says:

“I need to think about it.”

It can be tempting to immediately explain why they should move forward.

But what does “think about it” mean?

You don't know yet.

So ask.

“Of course. What do you feel like you still need to think through?”

Now you have something you can understand.

DON'T ANSWER A CONCERN UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND THE CONCERN.

This is where the conversation skills from Modules 3 and 4 become especially important.

Ask.

Listen.

Clarify.

Then respond if a response is appropriate.

The first thing someone says may not identify the real concern.

If they say:

“That's more than I expected.”

You could immediately start defending the price.

But you still don't know what they mean.

Instead, become curious.

“When you say more than you expected, what were you expecting?”

Or:

“What are you comparing it to?”

The purpose is not to corner them.

It is to understand before responding.

FIRST RESPONSE: CURIOSITY.

USE THE CONVERSATION PATTERN

ACKNOWLEDGE

Show that you heard them.

“I understand.”

“That makes sense.”

“Absolutely.”

You do not have to agree with their conclusion to acknowledge what they said.

ASK

Become curious.

“What would you want to think through?”

“Tell me a little more about that.”

“What concerns you most about that?”

UNDERSTAND

Listen to the answer.

Clarify if necessary.

Do not decide what the concern means before the family tells you.

RESPOND

Once you understand the concern, respond to the concern they actually have.

Not the one you assumed they had.

RETURN CHOICE

After responding, give the decision back to the family.

They are still allowed to say:

Yes.

Not yet.

No.

UNDERSTAND FIRST. RESPOND SECOND. LEAVE THE DECISION WITH THEM.

Respect the relationship.

Do not attack the attorney.

Do not suggest something must be wrong.

Ask what the person feels confident about and whether there is anything they still want clarified.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DISRESPECT SOMEONE ELSE'S PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIP TO CREATE VALUE.

“I ALREADY HAVE A TRUST.”

Good.

Do not challenge it.

Do not start looking for something wrong with it.

You can explore confidence, implementation, organization and whether the plan still reflects what the family wants today.

For example:

“How confident are you that everything would work the way you intend today?”

If implementation becomes relevant:

“How confident are you that the important assets have been addressed correctly?”

ACA-120 specifically says not to challenge an existing trust.

“I NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT.”

Respect it.

Then understand it.

“Of course. What do you feel like you still need to think through?”

There may be something you can clarify.

There may be someone else who should participate.

Or they may genuinely need time.

DON'T TURN “I NEED TO THINK” INTO A BATTLE.

Acknowledge it.

Then clarify.

What were they expecting?

What are they comparing?

What do they understand is included?

Only after you understand should you explain value when appropriate.

VALUE BEFORE PRICE.

Do not immediately discount.

Do not negotiate against yourself.

Do not attack competitors.

There is an important distinction between someone asking a question and someone telling you the price is preventing them from moving forward.

For example:

“Do you offer a veteran discount?”

That is a question.

It is not automatically:

“I cannot afford $1,995.”

Clarify before reacting.

You might say:

“I appreciate your service. May I ask, is the $1,995 investment itself creating a concern for you, or were you simply asking whether a veteran discount is available?”

Then listen.

DO NOT CREATE AN OBJECTION THE FAMILY DID NOT RAISE.

And especially:

DO NOT TURN A YES INTO A NEGOTIATION.

Respect the feeling.

Estate planning is not only about what happens after death.

It can also determine who can act, make decisions or help manage affairs while someone is living.

You might ask:

“Would it be okay if we looked at it from that side instead?”

Do not force someone into a conversation they have told you they do not want.

Do not insult their children.

Do not respond with a horror story.

Become curious.

“What would you want them to know or not have to figure out under pressure?”

Now the family member is thinking about the experience they want their children to have.

This module is not giving you seven objections and seven perfect answers.

Families do not follow scripts.

Neither should you.

The examples show you how to think:

Acknowledge.

Ask.

Understand.

Respond.

Return choice.

LEARN THE PATTERN. DON'T MEMORIZE THE REBUTTAL.

Work with another person.

The family member gives you a concern.

Your job is not to answer immediately.

First:

Acknowledge it.

Then:

Ask at least one appropriate question.

Listen to the answer.

Clarify if necessary.

Only then decide whether a response is needed.

After responding, return the decision to the family.

Practice with concerns such as:

• “I need to talk to my daughter.”
• “I already have an attorney.”
• “I already have a trust.”
• “I need to think about it.”
• “That's more than I expected.”
• “I don't want to talk about dying.”
• “My kids can figure it out.”

Complete the Module 6 response practice in your ACA-120 Conversation Curriculum materials.

Do not evaluate yourself based on whether you had a clever answer.

Evaluate whether you understood what the person actually meant before you responded.

YOU SHOULD BE PREPARING TO:

• Treat a concern as information rather than resistance.
• Acknowledge without immediately defending.
• Ask before answering.
• Clarify what the person actually means.
• Use the Second Question Rule™.
• Respond to the concern the family actually has.
• Respect existing attorneys, trusts and family relationships.
• Explain value before reacting to price.
• Avoid reflexive discounting or negotiating against yourself.
• Avoid creating objections the family did not raise.
• Return genuine choice to the family.
• Use the conversation pattern rather than memorized rebuttals.