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The Most Important Page in Your Plan Isn't a Legal Document.
It's a letter.
Your documents tell your family what to do. Your letter tells them who you were, what mattered to you, and that they were loved.
Why This Letter Matters
Your binder holds your documents. Your letter holds you.
When someone you love opens your Claim My Legacy binder, the first thing they will notice is your handwritten letter. They will read it before they read anything else. They will read it slowly, and they will probably read it more than once.
It is the one part of your plan that no attorney can draft for you.
"But I'm Not a Writer."
Almost everyone says this, and it does not matter. Your family is not grading your letter. They are hungry to hear your voice. Misspellings, crossed-out words, and sentences that wander are not flaws. They are proof that you wrote it.
Write the way you talk at the kitchen table.
How to Start, Without the Blank Page
- Do not write the whole letter at once. Plan short sittings of 15 to 20 minutes. Many people find that once they begin, ideas keep arriving for days.
- Begin with a list, not a letter. Jot down names, places, and moments as they come to mind. Do not worry about order.
- Write to one person first. It is easier to write to your daughter, or your best friend, than to "everyone." You can combine the pieces later or write separate letters.
- Use the sentence starters below. Pick one that tugs at you and finish it. That is a beginning.
- Give yourself permission for a rough draft. Write it on scratch paper first if you like. Many families treasure the messy original too.
Sentence Starters
Choose any that spark something. You do not need to use them all.
Your Love
- The moment I knew I was a parent / grandparent / lucky to know you was...
- Something I have never said out loud, but want you to know, is...
- When I look at you, I see...
- I am proudest of you when...
Your Story
- The best day of my life was...
- The hardest time I ever went through was... and what got me through was...
- If I could relive one ordinary day, it would be...
- Something about my childhood you might not know is...
Your Lessons
- The biggest mistake I made, and what it taught me, was...
- If I could give you only one piece of advice, it would be...
- What I learned about money, work, or faith is...
- What I wish I had worried about less is...
Your Favorites
- My favorite recipe, and the story behind it, is...
- The song, place, or smell that takes me right back is...
- When you miss me, go to... or do...
Your Wishes for Them
- I hope you always...
- When life gets hard, remember...
- I want you to take care of each other by...
- It is okay for you to...
Your Goodbye
- Please do not feel guilty about...
- I forgive you for... / Please forgive me for...
- What I hope you will remember most about me is...
- My last words to you are...
Not Sure What to Say First? Try This Order
- Open with love. Say their name and tell them you love them.
- Share a memory. One favorite story is enough.
- Share a lesson. What life taught you that you want them to keep.
- Share your hopes. What you wish for their future.
- Close with comfort. Tell them it is okay to grieve, to laugh, and to go on living fully.
Things People Often Include
- Family stories that only you know
- Favorite recipes, traditions, and sayings
- How you met your spouse or partner
- What your parents and grandparents were like
- Your faith, beliefs, or what has given your life meaning
- Advice for weddings, new babies, hard seasons, and big decisions
- Apologies and forgiveness
- Thank-yous to people who made a difference in your life
- Where to find special keepsakes and what they mean
A Few Gentle Cautions
Keep it loving. This is not the place to settle scores or reopen old wounds. If there is something painful you need to address, consider a private conversation while you are able.
Avoid surprises about money or property. Your legal documents handle who receives what. Use the letter to explain your heart, not to change the plan.
Write by hand if you can. Your handwriting is part of the gift.
Date it. Add the date and, if you like, where you were sitting when you wrote it.
Where to Keep It
Place your letter in your Claim My Legacy binder where it will be seen first. Let your trusted person know it is there. You do not have to tell them what it says.
You Can Always Add More
Your life will keep changing, and so can your letter. Write a new page, add a postscript, or begin again. A letter that grows with you is never really finished, and that is okay.
You May Think You Have Nothing Important to Say. You Do.
Someone who loves you will one day hold these pages and hear your voice again. Start with one sentence, and let it lead you.
The Letter Is Only One Part of a Plan Your Family Can Actually Use.
Claim My Legacy helps you understand your choices, create your plan, put the important pieces in place, and organize everything so your family knows what to do when the time comes. We are more than just documents. We protect the ones you love most.
Not sure where you stand? Start with our complimentary Family Legacy Review™. You can talk it through with a Legacy Specialist, or begin on your own, at your own pace.
Complimentary 60-minute Family Legacy Review™ • No pressure. No obligation.